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Okay, you fake alpha male, you've impressed everyone else in your world and got them believing you are worthy of respect - but not me. I'm unaffected by your job title, your car, your trophy wife (who I'm sure fucks you just barely enough to keep you and your star earning power around) - they just make up a facade to detract from the unremarkable excuse for a man that you really are. I'll enjoy scratching that thin veneer with my verbal barbs directed at the pride you have no right feeling. I won't pretend that your potbelly is "cuddly" or that your comb-over is convincing. You may be the big swinging dick in your professional world, but I know that's just a metaphor and far, far from the truth of what lies in your tighties.

I'd love to take a nice long look at you on webcam so I can see with my own discerning eyes what your shortcomings are instead of taking you at your word. And when I instruct you to do something utterly humiliating, it'll be live entertainment for me - hell, I might even make popcorn for the show!

Know what else I like? When you lock the door to your big corner office and beg me to put you in your place. We can even take it up a notch by having me role-play your secretary who has the goods on you and enjoys reminding you who the *real* boss is.

I've got the balls to give you a verbal kick in the balls, and my aim is direct and personal. Now the only question remaining is, do *you* have the balls to call me?